i'm in like :]

it's about fucking time.

I can't believe I did it.

end of story.

FUCKING TOMORROW!!! Actually in like 2 hours if you wanna be anal about it. I'm on the verge of massive adulthood haha, 18. I'm at my sister's hizz right now, the first day of twelve in the ol' lone star state, and I'm soooo excited for everything, like EVERYTHING, right now. Obviously my birthday is manana and despite the fact that I've already opened most of my presents for that and christmas so I don't have all that much to look forward to materialistically speaking, I'm still jumping off the fucking walls. I supposed I shouldn't be entirely this selfish saying as it's not only my beloved birthday but also my sister's, Jesus's, and Brian Schmidt (whom I am destined to marry). But fuck them, I rule. The end. Except you Jesus, I don't wanna be on bad terms with you haha.
Anyway, I hope I get to see Demi sometime this week since apparently she's only like 15 mins away now. And Chelle says she really wants to chill since she missed me this past summer. New Year's Eve is an given but I think I'll be able to hang with Jess, her hubby, and their druggie tattooed/pierced future rockstar friends for a few days or something ;] And we all know what that means for Chels on her vacation...
Oh I got my hair done yesterday. It's um red. Like mostly red. With the occasional blonde highlight and brown streak. But other than that...flaming red. Hah, I like it but it's not what I really wanted. But shit happens when you have a psycho mom who refuses to be seen with a daughter who sports more than two blonde highlights in her hair. Asshole. And it's shorter, well not really, just more layers. I'm most likely not making sense.
So yea, Shelbs just called me and she wants to ring in my new year on the phone so I'm gonna go chat for a bit n go sleep my snoring grandmother's room. Fantastic. But who can be annoyed when they're about to be EIGHTEEN!!!!
HKAGHDJHGSLKHGA.
Oh and merry christmas of course :] Hope everyone's spending it with those they love most. Queerass lol.

The most amazing thing happened last night. My parents gave me a laptop! No, it wasn't that random so before you start thinking I'm the most spoiled piece of shit ever, calm yourhormones, I'd been asking for one all year. Almost everyone gets one fore graduation and since Greece is my grad present, it was pretty much either ask for it for my birthday/christmas or pay for it myself. And since I'd have to whore myself off to buy a laptop like this, it just wasn't an option. I'm now snuggled in my bed, updating this since it's been 7 weeks since my last post and Anabel says I should update more often. So yea, I'm a happy girl, although now I basically have nothing to look forward to opening on my actual birthday but whatever lol.
On the flip side, things are pretty chaotic right now. College deadlines are approaching and I've been avoiding this like an epidemic. It's so surreal that less than a year from now I'll finally be where I've been looking forward to going for that past 12 years of my life- college. And no matter which one I get into, assuming I actually get into at least one of them, I know it will be the most exciting experience of my adolescent life.
My birthday is in 12 days and I'm so excited I could...I don't even know. I'm just that excited. Fucking 18. EIGHTEEN! What does 18 mean? Cigs, porn, lotto tix, dismissing myself from school, voting, clubbing, and legally an adult- although that doesn't mean shit in this household. So I'm not even going to mention the fact that I will no longer need parent consent to get inked or pierced because as long as they're paying for my college, it's not up for discussion. Damn. So yea, despite the fact that I won't be buying porn, lotto tix, or voting or clubbing anytime soon, it's still kickass.
I should probably be doing apps and hw right now so I'm peacin out.

I had a new experience. I hooked up with a car salesman. In the front seat of a mazda sportscar. hahaha rock on chels. So the story is, if you're interested-
Fam trip this weekend to vermont to go college hunting; take a peekski at burlington, dartmouth, UVM, and on the way back amherst college, Umass, and smith college. So idk, somewhere around dartmouth, my dad pulls over to a VW dealership to show my mom this new volvo he wants to buy her. Within 4 seconds of being out there, these 2 young, and absolutely adorable guys come out to greet us. One's name is ryan who immediately gushed over my parents, trying to sell them this car. The other one, don't remember his name haha but looked like a cute preppy partying college boy with curly brown hair, shook my hand, as if I'm interested in the car in the least, and ryan explained that this was his second day on the job so he was gonna watch basically. So ryan's busy making up shit with my parents and other guy and I are chillin behind, chattin it up. We talked about the fact that I happen to think my parents are idiots for actually thinking they would buy this car when they just bought a new truck and how I wouldn't support it anyway since I'm a sportscar kinda girl. He got really excited and told me about this new mazda something they just got in over there. I yelled to the parents that I was going to go look at better cars and the other dude offered to show me the mazda. We walked and talked and I discovered that he was 20, didn't want to go to college cuz he liked partying so much and figured he could get a lot of money selling cars, haha i sure know how to pick em, and lives across from dartmouth. He let me turn the car on and I'm pretty sure if I would have flashed him some skin he'd let me take it for a spin. Luckily I have some dignity in my body hah. Idk, we were talking about nothing in particular, he thought I was in college so I let him think I was hahaha and we somehow ended up making out a tiny bit. He must have seen my parents coming toward the car out of the corner of his eye cuz suddenly pulled away. My mom was such a bitch, "Stop flirting chelsea, let's go." So We left and in the car I explained that I wouldn't mind if we made a few more stops at dealerships or even continued looking at this one for a while longer. Haha they weren't surprised.
Anyway, other than that, it was a fun trip, I reluctantly admit. I would love to go to Amherst college or Burlington, I guess we'll see what happens...

Life isn't that bad right now. Not to jinx things or anything but hopefully they'll keep going the way they have been. I'm doing pretty well in school, especially english which makes me smile. I have friends in most of my classes cept physics can kiss my ass. I feel like such a fag, i sit by myself in like the corner because all the people i know in there i dont want to talk to and all the people i want to talk to i dont know. Which blowsss but whatever, it gives me the opportunity to actually pay attention to the lesson hah. Olympia's fantastic, my favorite person quit today :] I'm in mad clubs again cept this time i have to hardcore stay in them for extra curriculars so i dont have to lie on my resume. College shit is nerveracking but good news is i finished one of my college essays, and i actually love it. Halloween is coming up again, so I'm psyched bout that. And the my birthday/christmas! omfg 18. i don't even want to talk about it. I'm going to texas again which should be fun tho the only friends I'm going to bother to see are jess and josh.
Anyway, I'm actually gonna start my homework now and study for my quizzes tomorrow. Hah, it's so weird that I say that but I actually mean it. unlike every fucking time i said it last year and never even opened my school bag. Things are good, i enjoy life presently :]

Ya know, it's times like today that make me wonder why some people think their opinion is wanted or appreciated. My friend's mom came in today, I won't say who cuz I'm about to bitch her out, looking for shoes and we started casually talking about colleges.
First of all can I just say I try to avoid this topic like a flesh eating virus but...

Mom: So have you thought about college yet?
Me: *sigh* Yes.
Mom: Well where are you looking?
Me: New York City...
Mom: Oh wow, uh good luck with that. That's really expensive and difficult to handle.
Me: I'm well aware.
Mom: What do you want to do?
Me: Journalism.
Mom: Oh jeez. That's really competetive. My sister went to college for journalism.
Me: Yea? So is she a big journalist now?
Mom: Hah, no. Within the first year she gave up and switched majors. She said it was too competetive and she didn't think she was good enough to go on.
Me: Good story.
Mom: Yea so I hope it works out for you...
Me: I'm pretty confident it will :]


FUCK YOU. is what I have to say :] I'm sorry your sister sucks ass at life and doesn't have the balls to actually go through with anything. Give her my regards because apparently if she can't stick it through at least one year than she must be a trooper. I'm sick of defending myself. Next time someone attempts a college convo with me I'm going to say I'm looking at school in Idaho. For car sales or some shit. And when they ask why the fuck I'm going there and doing that I'm going to politely tell them that I hate challenges, I love going through life knowing I won't be satisfied with where I am, and I want to apply to a school where I'm pretty sure half of the school's population will have come from dairy farms and be majoring in agriculture. Because that's how I do in life, I take the fucking easy way out of everything and only do things that will make me temporarily happy, hence why I have no interest in useless places like NYC or in majors like communications. But thanks for asking. Assholes.

k. I guess I feel a little better lol.

Sup fools? This summer has been unlike any before it; amazing. I haven't done anything exceptionally exciting nor extravagant. But I'm pretty sure I've matured. I've grown beyond even my own expectations, and I'm not trying to sound like a Hallmark card or like I'm writing a personal memoir. I'm ready to be a senior, and truly accept the priveleges and responsibilities that come with the title. I no longer feel the need to rebel against my restrictive parents or stand out to make myself known. I just want to focus on what's important and that would be getting the best grades I can possibly manage to get whilst having the time of my life. No more lying to the parentals about where I sleep. No more worrying about drug tests they threaten to spring on me. No more drinking in school. It's over, I feel I have definitely experienced my teenage years in the worst and yet best possible way.
I have huge responsibilities in my future, all before december; most of them revolving around college. That vital time in our lives that we have been dreading for at least a decade has finally approached- applying. I have come to accept the fact that if my grades cannot grant me a large enough scholarship then my everlong dream of attending college in NYC will be extinguished. And fuck that if I'm going to let that happen. I'm going, for myself, for my future, for all of the people throughout my life who have doubted me in the least bit. "New York City is nice to visit, Chelsea, but I'm not sure it's such an adequate place for school or living."
Each negative response has only fueled my ambition all these years. I CAN and WILL be that person my name was never associated with. I can be that person that finishes everything immediately after acknowlegement, far from my current and notorious habits of procrastination. I can be the driven girl who refuses that last shot or that last hit because she has a test the next morning. I will be the student that actually has a reason to be proud and doesn't have to beg her parents for recognition and praise. It's going to change from here on. This summer was my first and last of partying because from now on my life revolves around doing everything to the best of my ability, every moment of my day, every breath I take, is dedicated to graduating with honors, going to college in the city, and becoming the best journalist Rolling Stone or Nylon magazine has encountered.
Fuck the haters, here's to a truly new beginning.

i don't even remember what's really been happening these 7 weeks i haven't been posting but i do know that i am soooo glad school is over for a while. although i still have to read two books for summer reading and do a journal thing for spanish, i feel like so much pressure has been relieved from my life and it makes me (:]). i've been smoking a lot lately. i feel like shit for that but it's summer and i need to get it out of my system so i can hardcore focus this coming year and bring my gpa back up to at least a 3.4 or something. this year is gonna be the ultimate challenge to see if i can overcome my partying ways or at least control them in slightest bit.
on the flipside...i'm going to texas in less than 3 weeks and i couldn't be happier since instead of going to fucking el paso or lubbock which are both at least 5 hours away from civilization, my sister has recently moved to galveston which is only like 40 minutes away from my old town. yay :] so i can chill with her for a week and a half, then my lovelies are kidnapping me the last few days and i can party hardy with them. so pumped. i haven't seen those fools in 2 years and i know things are going to be completely different and i won't even know what to say to some of them but i think for the ones i still talk to frequently, it should be worth it.
so i hope everyone is having a kickass summer, especially to those who will be going to college in a couple months. peace.

update: my life is crashing.

My car won't be out of the shop for another week or two. I still owe more than 500 bucks on that. I didn't go to prom. I can't do anything leisurely without getting caught anymore. I have a 38 in math and a 60 in english. I'm about 4 projects behind in art. My mom wants to get me drug tested. My parents still don't trust me. AND I have no money to do anything.

And that's bout all I can think of right now off the top of my head but I'm sure there's more. I've had such a shitty outlook on life these past couple of months n it's really starting to piss me off. I honestly feel depressed sometimes, like hardcore depressed where I can't help it. And it blows cuz I'm usually the kinda person to find the silver lining to every cloud. I was talking to sean the other day n I realized I can break my high school experience into three phases.
freshman year.
new student, self conscious, trying to be perfect to start a decent rep. Good grades n everything, friends w/ the more innocent, smart kids. Didn't really do much on weekends, just spent the night with friends once in a while.
sophomore year.
chill. more open with people. different friends. pretty focused on grades til the end. no bad stuff but i hung out with people more and was usually out. comfortable with things.
junior year.
putting more effort into appearance. always busy with friends. never home. drinking. smoking. lying to my parents. never doing school work. legit failing classes til the day before. more outgoing. sneaking around. hooking up. drinking in school. coming home high. being grounded constantly.

see the dramatic decline? i have to stop or else i will fail and not be able to bring my grades back up. It's almost the end of school and i have a 38 in precal and a 60 in english. how the hell am i supposed to get into an elite college in NYC for communications with a D in english? what am i supposed to say when they ask me why i deserve to be accepted with a D in english over other, better candidates that major in english? I figured out my problem. Life was so much easier when i was a nerd that had never had a boyfriend or anything back in like 6th grade. I cried if i got less than an A on a test. After that, shit went downhill. fast. and now most of it is due to alcohol. for some reason, I can't balance work and play. My love for partying outweighed my concern for school this year and now I have to change it. It's never too late for a fresh start and i guess for me, it'll have to be the last 3 weeks of school and senior year next year. This is my second chance, but I sure as hell don't deserve a third so let's hope I don't fuck up again.

Life blows at the moment. I'm pretty sure I'm gonna have like all C's this quarter which means the 'rents will be placing a sweet lock on my door and groudning me for life. But as soon as tonight is over, there's nothing more I can do about it. My room is completely torn up which is good since it's finally getting painted n stuff but bad since now I can't be on the computer past like 8 since I have to share one with my parents. I did something stupid on friday night; a drunken hook up. And sorry if you didnt want to know but it was more than just basics which I'm not happy with. It's not like I regret it since we didn't cheat on anyone, it's just that I'm disappointed that if it ever gets out, that innocent rep I've worked so hard to keep clean since freshman year, could now be ruined. And I'm just so not that kinda girl, the girl that gets wasted n wakes up next to some guy. Plus, to make it worse and as a form of universal punishment, I can't stop thinking about it. But I guess it'll be fine n I'm fretting over nothing. On the flip side, tuesday is a half day so I'm pumped about that, I'm going to the city on saturday, next week is vacation :D, and my sister is coming up the following week. Prom is creepin up on everyone, meaning people are talking about it more and I'm getting more depressed with the fact that I won't be attending. It just blows, but I'll get over it. Life is just blahhh right now, but like I said, just let me get thru tonight n I'll survive. Ok, happy easter everyone, I hope you all eat too much chocolate :]

Life's a shitfest at the moment n I'm kinda hating it. I, for no reason at all, didn't do any homework last week and didn't realize til like yesterday that next friday is the end of the quarter. fucking sweet. I never turned in my essay which is the worst thing I've done in english like ever n I have so much other work in every single other class that it makes me wanna cry. But, like every other time, I'll get thru it, I have no doubt in my mind. It's just gonna suck every day from now til next friday.
I never went to NYC n I'm not going this weekend again cuz it's basically either go or get fired so I think I'm going the weekend of the 14th which should be soooo much better cuz the quarter will be over and I hopefully won't be under as much stress. Brenna's birthday dinner is gonna be this tuesday I think so I'm looking forward to that and we're supposed to go to her sister's dorm next weekend. Ew, that reminds me. Andrew blair said he wants to hook up with me. Haha, fat chance.

Anyway, I think I'm falling for that kid. Don't tell anyone...
It's just kinda weird cuz he's traveling to like australia or some shit in a month n going to college after that so I'll never be able to really see him, as if we see eachother now anyway. Plus I don't even know if he likes me, probably not, so I'm not gonna dwell on it too much.
Did I mention I'm not going to prom anymore? Yea well I'm not. Cuz my stupid sister is graduating from stupid med school the same stupid day. The shitty part is is that my mom didn't even realize it til a couple weeks ago, after craig bought his tux n everything. I cried, a lot, I'm not gonna lie, cuz I was reallyyyy looking forward to it. Not so much at first but then I thought about how fun it would be for everyone to meet craig n to get prettied up n party after n just the whole thing. Prom is supposed to be worth the whole high school experience n now I'll never be able to know what it's like since FHS doesn't even have a real senior prom. What bothers me tho is that while I'm in texas at the graduation, they'll all call me up n say how much fun it is n how they miss me n wish I was there (not to be stuck up but I know them, n I know they will) n just trying to make me feel better, but from then on, they'll have all these kickass memories of prom together while the only thing I'll have is a tan. Fuck that.

I guess I have more important things to worry about, such as not failing school. N i should probably get to writing my essay saying as it is 12:18 in the morning n I've had all day to do it since I didn't go to school. I want to see Brand New in May. When my sister comes to visit. Maybe I'll go with him too, who knows. Oh and sydney, who you takin to prom?
K, my stomach kills n I'm close to shooting myself so peace.

My life...is officially complete. Taste of Chaos was a-mazing. The more I thought about it, the more I realized it was stupid for me to worry about getting caught since all the little details were stupid n all shit my parents wouldn't notice. It just kinda sketched me out, the thought of jamie n john finding out I snuck a concert in on a Thursday night with a 19 year old I barely knew and two other kids I had never met before in Lowell. But whatever, it went perfectly n when I got to touch Jared Leto I basically orgasmed. Not to be graphic or anything but it was a beautiful thing :] The used was good too n even though I don't like Aiden, they were pretty spectac as well. I realized moshing is incredibly dumb n actually kinda funny to watch, when you're not being pushed down n trampled. Ugh, I smelled like beer, someone's vomit, and sweat. The car ride smelled pretty...I just remembered the longgg ride up n the random music choices those guys made. We jammed to everything from old blink 182 to trance to TATU haha and brand new. Ah, good night I must say.
So confession. I really wanted to try pot, just once. N after I got in a huge fight with shelbs n alyssa, jenny, jordan, n I decided friday night would be good. The only problem is...jordan got it from shawn stanley. So me, being oblivious to life, assumed it would be fine. But that asshole laced the pot with some other shit, some hardcore hallucinogen. Jenny was completely trippin, she couldn't see turns in the road and I was apparently "10 years away", jordan was just high n threw up, n I had crazy, scary dreams while I was still awake n kept hallucinating thru the next day. In the car ride up to assumption to see ben folds, I saw a little red man wearing a hood scuttle across the highway n climb non-existent rocks. Then I said random shit like "I painted the walls with time..." I know I'm not an expert on being high n all but I'm pretty damn sure seeing running red men is not a norm for weed. I asked some people n they said it was probably PCP. So nice to know that instead of plain pot, I got a whole PCP trip. Never fucking doing that again.
The Ben Folds concert was nice, tho I felt kinda stupid cuz I don't know a ton of their songs so I couldn't sing along the whole time and I felt kinda weird cuz I've only been to like real rock concerts, with the exception of dave matthews band and lyle lovett when I was in Texas. It's kinda hard to rock out to the piano, but I had fun, nonetheless. I didn't end up going to Tess's cuz I didn't wanna risk two heists behind my parents in the same weekend but I really did want to go n I feel bad for missing it. It's probably better that I didn't go, I probably would have done something stupid.
ok, I'm tired like woah n I have a feeling this week's gonna suck. majorly. But I'll deal.

I would very much like to discuss my love for march. Although my plans to hang out with those kids on friday fell through and miss barnstable is moving her party to next weekend when I will be in NEW YORK CITY, it's still a kickass next couple of weeks. I'm getting my stereo put in this weekend and made alternate plans, am FINALLY getting my fucking liscense on tuesday, and am going, like I said, to nyc next saturday with jessie. Hopefully I'll find a prom dress too, that would be amazing. I don't have to work for the next two weekends which would normally mean no dinero, especially now that I need to buy gas, but I saved up from the last couple of checks so I should be fine. The 22nd I'm going to a Saosin, the used, senses fail, and some other shit concert with this random kid devin, his random ass buddies, and luckily jessie. Pumped for that...tho I haven't quite figured out how I'm gonna sneak a concert in on a thursday without the 'rents knowing. Eh, details. So that friday is tess's party. Haha, not sure how I'm gonna get away with that one either. Saturday is the ben folds concert with jenny and lindz at assumption which also makes me smile. And finallyyy Brenna bertha's party, which will be at my house assuming, is that following weekend. Basically, this month completes my life. Now I just have to watch out n make sure I don't get alc poisoning again...
awww, wanna hear something sweet? k, good.

Craig: You drive a bug right?
Me: Yupyup.
Craig: Sweet.
Me: A little black one with zebra seats, so you'll look quite masculine bouncin around with me :]
Craig: Masculine or not, I'm riding with a beautiful lady.

that's my prom date, kids.

I just wanted to say something. I have the best friends anyone can ask for and one in particular completely made my night. No, life. Shelbs went to jess's with liana the other night n I was brought up when they were listening to all my fave gay songs like ding dong song and hella nervous. Shelbs told them they all reminded her of me n started bustin out my ill dance moves and my awesome wannabe seductive facial expressions. They all laughed n agreed that they reminded them of me too. Then...

Liana: Does chelsea have a boyfriend?
Jess: No, she doesnt.
Liana: Why, i feel like she could. Does she not want one?
Shelby: No, she's too good for anyone up here. She's comfortable with herself n she knows she doesn't need a boy to make her feel that way. I think it's awesome.
Jess: You're right, she is.
Shelby: Chelsea's goin places. When we're all old with tons of children running around, chelsea's gonna be the one partyin it up in NYC with the job shes always wanted. Just wait.
Jess: It's so true.
Liana: Awww.

I just want to say I hope all of you are blessed with friends who know what you're worth. And before tonight I always wondered what they all said behind my back but when I found out it was praising and complimenting and the fact that I have a best friend that will always defend me...it made me smile :]

This is gonna be a long one, just a warning. So valentine's day is manana and I could not be more depressed about it. This is my first year in existence where I don't have a real Valentine. And it sucks. Tomorrow is just another reminder that I have no one. So let me just take a minute to feel sorry for myself.
....
Ok, I'm over it. Anyway, the surprise that shelbs's parents had for us on friday was actually kareoke at applebee's haha. It was amazing. I've always told myself that one day I would be brave enough to do it and last friday I finally did. I sang "all I wanna do" with shelbs first then "into the mystic" all by my lonesome after. I was so nervous that I kinda sucked but it's ok cuz now I can finally say I did it. Very rejuvinating:] More good news: break is coming up, my liscense is finally within reach, and I'm going to a Ben Folds concert in march with some cool kids. Oh, I think I found a college I can honestly see myself happy with. Maybe the next best thing to NYU since that doesn't seem like a popular choice with the parentals. Like I could care less but whatever. It's called Hofstra and the main reason I like it is because it's still in NY, actually only 25 minutes away from the actual city, it's on long island. It's ginormous. But there's only like 8,000 people which is a lot but not overwhelming. The dorms are fucking towers, 6 of them to be exact, and other buildings resembling 5 star hotels. There's a seperate building for just about ever field of study, like communications which is what I want to be a part of, presumably. It's gorgeous and it kinda resembles boston in parts of it. Andddd it has a hair salon. Why that amazes me so much, I don't know, but it does. I looked it up on princeton review and the average GPA is like 3.3 which isn't like Harvard, obviously, but then again I'm not a Harvard kinda girl. It's a really good school and I'm really considering it; I think I'm going to visit it next month. I told the 'rents about it n they were like "well, get a scholarship, then we'll see." Well thank you, I'm aware it's not an option for me to go to a school without a scholarship, as to avoid enormous debt. I told my dad I had a 3.4 GPA so it shouldn't be a huge problem. He goes, "That's all?" How much did I want to fight him at that point in my life. What the fuck do you mean that's all??? I know it's not a 4.0 but if you wanted me to take all average, normal classes then a 4.0 wouldn't be an issue for me. I am however, taking above average classes, as many honors as I can for now. Yea I'm not in AP Bio or AP english but I am in english honors and Anatomy. Can I just tell you my schedule for next year? English 4 honors, AP physics, spanish 5 AP, calculus honors, print journalism, and AP art. OK daddd, so you can go kill yourself for never finishing college, nevertheless never taking advanced classes. I get good grades, am in NAHS, key club, SADD, spanish club, on prom committee, I sing in the church choir, play the piano, used to play mad soccer, and will soon be volunteering at the nursing home. I'm a damn suck up when it comes to school shit. Just because I don't plan on being a doctor, didn't graduate with a 3.8, and got my first boyfriend before I was 16, I'm not as good, smart, or applied as my sister. So sorry fam.
ok well, I'm tiring myself out with all this bitching. Last comment isss, this week's gonna suck. Pre cal test, spanish project, science fair project, finishing to kill a mockingbird, history test, and art project. Shit blows right there. Whatever, things will soon be better, I have hope.

I ate too much today. Not sure why, though. I guess when you have a huge box of munchkins at work there's really not much will power to stop you from piggin out. Eh, who cares. Zumba will take care of that :]
I went to hyannis friday! Ok, maybe not exciting for you but I got to the mall like twice a year, no joke, so this was a big event for me. Shelbs drove jenny's care since jenny was scared of getting lost n it was deff a trip to remember. We went into victoria's secret to try on skimpy, hideous neglegies and to basically feel fat. Shelbs picked out this incredibly tacky number with pink rouched lace and diamonds sprinkled on it. Shelbs loved it of course because that's just how she rolls. She tried it on, it was just as bad on as on the hanger. She came out to show us but forgot the door locks so she was stranded out in the open in this ugly, see through lingerie thing n was considering searching for someone to open the door for her but had too much pride for that. So she fucking crawled on the floor, under the door, to let herself in. It was pretty much the greatest thing ever. Luckily she doesn't have a butt so she could easily fit. I tried on this pink ruffled, purple and pink polka dot outfit thing cuz it was the closest thing to me. I got stuck in it. It wouldn't go over my boobs n jenny had to help me get it off. It was more painful than birth. Or so I would imagine. We had many adventures and all in all it was a pretty rockin time. We watched texas chainsaw massacre the beginning that night n I can safely say I've never seen such a deranged movie. It was the epitome of fucked up. I actually went shopping again in hyannis with dad on saturday, had another driving time, 2 hour session, and went to alyssa's party later. I just have to include a convo between me and my middle aged sketchball driving instructor:

(I don't know his name so we'll call him sir.)

SIR: You ever eat at chapaquoit grill?
ME: Uh, no, can't say I have.
SIR: It's a good place. You'd like it. (as if he would know what I like. like we're old friends.)
ME: Sure.
SIR: Yea, if you ever go n see me in there just say hi n I'll be sure n buy you a drink.
ME: Eh, that's ok, I'm only 17. Thanks though.
SIR: Really ,it'd be fun. And I know you drink anyway so it may as well be around someone you know.
ME: Hah...I don't really know you though...
SIR: Well I'm just saying.
ME: Alrighty then.
SIR: So anyways. You party a lot?
ME: Uh, not really.
SIR: Haha,You look like you do.
ME: Oh, well I don't.
SIR: So we'll be taking a left up here...

Creep much? I had another time with him today n he had his hand on mine, showing me a better way to hold the steering wheel, for at least 3 minutes. Then he was like "Oh, that's your beetle? Wow, you'll look hot in that." Thank you sir, but could you kindly not hit on me? k,Great. Anyway, I only have one more session left, tomorrow, and then I can schedule my test. Woohoo. Bout fucking time. Mk, well I have to call pete back n I still have mad homework so I should probably get a move on. Peace, kids.

People are really pissing me off lately and apparently I'm pissing people off in return. Cept I'm not and everyone is just PMSing. Whatever, luckily I'm not easily bothered by that crap n it will all blow over soon. Shelbs n I got in a huge fight last night about her car and driving us to hyannis on friday. I've never seen her so mad at me and ruthless. She was in for the kill, I was the one backing down for once. But like best friends, we worked it out. Thank god. I tried zoomba yesterday with my aunt n I had so much fun. I'm trying to recruit everyone with a pulse to do it with me. I learned the salsa, flamenco, samba, merengue, belly dancing,reggae hip hop, and even some kickboxing moves injected. We danced to that song gasolina, the one I used to hate. Now it's like my favorite thing ever. So yea, I'm pumped for tomorrow for my next class plus I have driving time. Excited but nervous too...We'll see what happens.
My 5th period study is my new hero. I can finally get shit done in school. And I love how I don't have any friends to distract me in there. It's a beautiful thing :] And I'm really looking forward to art 4. The sketch I'm doing in charcoal is already the best I've done. I plan on getting all A's this quarter. Or at least trying. Things are good for the time being. No complaints, no regrets. I hope you can find your solstice too.

I'm gonna go paint.

It was deff alcohol poisoning. Sweet.

My weekend was fucked up. Mostly because I almost died of alcohol poisoning friday night and now owe kris a 165 dollar jacket for which I am deff unable to pay. I'm never drinking again. I didn't eat anything all saturday day and was actually drunk til about 7 saturday night. Cool. Driving time will finally beginnn this week. Hopefully. And Craig is coming up for prom now, all parentals gave the ok. Now we just need like 250 bucks for the ticket. Donations are greatly appreciated :]
I think Dunkin's is gonna hire me. The manager liked me so now I just have to quit olympia...shit. I thought about just not showing up as to avoid confrontation but then that referral's shot. Whatever, shit happens for a reason so I'll just see if I get hired first. Tess is having a hardcore birthday party in March apparently. I was kinda pumped til I remembered what a druggie she is with her friends. So if jessie's going then I guess I'll go n just stick to mild shit. But it is at the sheraton in boston, no 'rents...hah, should be a ball. Mk, I've loads of homework n it's the last week of the quarter. Scratch that, semester. Ugh, I can't wait til I have 2 studies everyday. Well one's an independent art 4 study but still chill. Here's to new beginnings <3